in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
