Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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