I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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