i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
