So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
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