I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
