Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
