I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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