After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
