Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
