if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
