Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
