Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize