capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
