Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
