girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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