yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
