I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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