Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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