Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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