just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize