ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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