Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
