is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
