false alarm. still invincible.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
