i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
