Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
