I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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