apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
These tits shall not be calmed
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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