Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
