We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
