votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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