I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
