Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
