I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize