you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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