is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
