That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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