I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
