I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
