What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
