What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
