apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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