From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
