If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
