dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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