Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
