I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
