Whats the count minus fat chicks?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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