Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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