I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
