How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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