I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
