unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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