I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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