Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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