he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
