Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
