Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
