I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize