the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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